


Proximity

by Jux_ta_pose



Category: Anne of Green Gables - L. M. Montgomery, Anne with an E (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Feelings, First Love, Pining, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-22
Updated: 2019-10-22
Packaged: 2020-12-28 07:56:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21133301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jux_ta_pose/pseuds/Jux_ta_pose
Summary: Based around Season 3 of "Anne with an E" episode 5, not something that happened, just my bad bad brain.Gilbert can't help but be a voyeur while watching Anne and her friends praising the Goddess Beltane.





	Proximity

**Author's Note:**

> She is Medusa's Fury  
Athena's Strength  
Achelois' Healing 
> 
> part of the poem "Mythology" by Caitlyn Siehl

“Surely there must be someone who can answer all this”

Like he’d been summoned,Gilbert exits the church and time stills for a moment but then Anne realises they are all staring at her.

“No”

But they all crowd her and shes cornered…

“No… no ….nononononono”

She’s pushed forward with no escape…

Gilbert is wary but curious.

“Ahhh…. Hello?”

“Anne has a question” because Josie is not about to let Anne get away with not asking.

She clears her throat.

“Is it true, that women of intelligence and pash...a...emotion are doomed to be infertile. Is that how reproduction works?”

Gilbert winces,

Of all the questions, he was not expecting that one…

“Umm… there’s nothing I've seen in my medical experience that would lead me to believe that. So… No”

Anne looks relieved, they all do, but he feels they want to know more…

“The steps… ask him” Anne just wishes Tillie would stay silent...

Because there’s not a chance that Anne is going to ask him about that, not after the dancing, and all the staring, the smiling and the touching.

She shakes her head.

“Good day then” and he’s gone. 

“He said seen. What has he seen!” Ruby blurts out.

Anne can’t take it a minute longer. 

“Enough” and she clamps her hands over her ears. “We need to purge ourselves of all these nonsensical lies. And I know a cure and it's in your book on Scotland, Diana.”

“What is it?” her bosom friend asks,

“It’s called Beltane. We’ll meet tonight in the meadow just past the lake of shining waters. As soon as it’s dark, be there.”

A day had gone by since the “Dashing White Sergeant” dance practise at school and Gilbert’s brain kept getting caught in the details. It was the way Anne had smiled at him, through those wine coloured lashes and those huge intense eyes a man could easily drown in, that had him in knots. 

Those smiles weren’t like any other she’d gifted him before. If he was being forthright he’d say she had been admiring him, but perhaps that was being too bold. Whatever the reason he couldn’t help but smile back at her in return. 

So many times he’d made that leap only to be met with a wall of denial and anger, anything to halt him in his tracks.

And he’d let her because acknowledging this flourishing attraction out loud was scary.

Not long ago he’d say the only thing that truly fed his soul was knowledge, learning everything he could get his hands on when it comes to medicine and the like. It excited and challenged him like nothing else did, because there was so much to know, so many boundless possibilities to explore. 

While all his other classmates were wrapped up in each other, he was perfectly content in his bubble, or so he thought. Somehow, Anne had crept in unnoticed and his heart recognized someone like himself. Someone smart and driven with their own passions and desires to accomplish something worthwhile in this tiny corner of the planet.

He was greedy he now wanted them both equally, a career that meant he could protect others from harm and someone to share that with who’s ambitions rivalled his own. Gilbert couldn’t be content to just coast along, he needed a challenge and a partner in life that met him stride for stride.

For years he believed his pining was only one sided, that she didn’t see him in the same light. But recently though he’d felt a change in her.

Sometimes Anne lingered too long after the conversation had finished, she thought he hadn’t noticed, oh but he had. 

Gilbert hadn’t allowed himself the pleasure of dwelling too much on those stolen moments, because like a skittish rabbit, she’d most certainly bolt. 

But then yesterday happened and all those jumbled misshapen pieces just magically reassembled themselves and everything clicked into place. 

It was like everyone else in the room just fell away and it was just the two of them. And then he was no longer content to just stay on the sidelines. He needed to touch her, so he purposely spun her around just to get a reaction, just to know, really know if all this was real. Every second after that he reached for her and she did not shrink from him. 

The tingle of her hand in his caused all kinds of swooping motions in his gut, made his head spin and he just wanted it to last forever but then it was over. 

Too soon... 

and then it became awkward for both of them and he was hurtling back to where he’d been before all this began. 

He’d heard immediately after the dance Anne had agreed to walk home with Charlie. If that was the case had he truly just imagined those looks she bestowed on him. Was he so taken with her that he deluded himself into thinking she harboured feelings for him in return. 

That evening he couldn’t breathe in the house with Bash giving him all kinds of knowing looks and his stomach churning with the uncertainty of not knowing. The walls felt like they were closing in on him, he needed air.

“I’m just going out for a bit, need to take a walk”

Bash smirked, looking up from one of John Blythe’s treasured books.

“Where are you walking to?”

Gilbert scowled 

“Nowhere in particular. I just need to walk”

“Alright Blythe.”

Gilbert left the house, sure he could hear Bash softly laughing as he closed the front door. He didn’t take his jacket because the air was warm and inviting. There was no need for formality for it was doubtful that he would bump into anyone at night. 

His shirt was untucked and the breeze was amazing as it ruffled through his hair and teased at his bare skin around his middle, his shirt ends flapping madly. 

Gilbert took a cleansing breath and he could smell the freshly tilled earth which brought a smile to his lips, but also the air carried the scent of wild flowers that seemed to circle him sensually before vanishing.

The scent of flowers reminded him of Anne and he groaned because this was why he came out here in the first place. To get her out of his head and he purposely turned away from the direction of Green Gables and marched across an open field, running his fingers through the tall grass.

He didn’t really have a destination he let his senses guide him as he walked further and further away and he closed his eyes just to take in the silence, the blessed sweet silence and the stars twinkling in the darkness. It was so peaceful, he’d be content just to bask here forever in the stillness it fortified him.

All of a sudden he heard rustling in the grass up ahead and every muscle in his body tensed sensing danger. Then he saw it, a line of lit lanterns in the distance, he frowned forcing his body to breathe again. 

Something inside told him that he must not be seen, so he ducked down in the grass. He almost laughed out loud when he recognized all the girls from his class in their nighties running across the field. 

What on earth.

The first thought that flitted through his head that there was some kind of emergency but then they were skipping and laughing and he was really confused and admittedly deeply intrigued. 

He should have left, it wasn’t proper for him to be here watching but then he caught sight of Anne and he sunk to his knees defeated. He physically couldn’t get his legs to obey him as he watched them, watched her. How was it possible that he should leave his house to escape the memory of her only to find her in person.

Was he doomed, was there no release from this slow burning torment.  
Because the truth was he couldn’t keep his eyes off her and he burned gladly. 

Making up his mind he ran after her, making sure he kept his distance so he wouldn’t be discovered. He had medical knowledge, they might find themselves in some kind of trouble it was his duty to keep an eye on them, just in case he was needed. That is at least the excuse he gave himself. 

Gilbert felt delirious their joy and laughter was infectious. He was sure he was making far too much noise, but they were so wrapped up in whatever it was they were doing they weren’t aware of him at all.

Finally they stopped and Gilbert crashed into a tree, peeking out behind the wide trunk to watch. He followed their every movement as they collected rocks and sticks and built a bonfire. Then they scattered off in all directions and he froze, hand over his mouth as Anne wandered towards him. They were collecting flowers and he knew he was surrounded by some of the most stunningly exquisite examples. Gilbert panicked and flattened his body against the trunk and prayed he wasn’t about to be discovered. 

He could hear her breathing and every little sigh of glee as she discovered yet another bloom and his heart nearly stopped in his chest, his fingers dug into the bark. 

But then luck was on his side as he heard her moving away from him and the breaths came hard and fast.

That had been too close. She wouldn’t have been kind if she’d caught him standing there. 

He really should leave now, he shouldn’t be witnessing this it wasn’t for him. 

But the temptation was too much...

When he felt it was safe he crouched down and glimpsed out from behind a clump of grass. 

They were reciting poetry to the goddess of Beltane whomever that was and Gilbert found that his eyes were drawn only to Anne in the golden firelight. Her hair rivalled that of the flames, they were one and he the hapless insect enthralled by the blaze. Perched on top of her head a wreath of woven flowers and she was the twirling wood sprite of his dreams. 

His emotions were raw and wanting and he wished he had the courage to join them but knew he would not be invited. This however did not stop him from craving a proposition just the same.

Gilbert longed to dance with her again and hold her hand in his, to brush his fingers over her knuckles and breathe in her beauty and her wholebeing. He desired that more than anything.

But for now he would have to be content to stand back and watch her soar because neither of them were quite ready for what came next.

**Author's Note:**

> This was such a stunning episode and all the feels... *sigh* but this was so hard to write without it feeling like something I'd already written. Hope you like, please feel free to comment if you like. Thank you everyone for reading.


End file.
